I like to share ideas I’ve had that work for my family, just
in case they work for you too. Our latest has proved to be the solution to a
ridiculous yet serious problem: how to get all my children quietly out of the
car.
Now I don’t know what happens with your family after school,
or even if you use your car for your school run, but this is how it was for us:
I’d arrive home from school in the car with my eight year old son and six and four
year old daughters. I’d say something like, “Come on, everyone, let’s go in!”
but they never heard me. Tired and hungry, they’d be winding each other up or
fighting, or else showing off to each other and climbing out of the windows
instead of opening the doors. Just going into the house and waiting for them to
finish messing about wasn’t really an option – our house layout is such that
all the living space is one storey higher than the car and the front door. This
was terrible. Tempers were frayed, my children were getting hurt and my house
and car kept getting left open and unlocked.
It was time for a change.
I knew why my children were behaving like this. They were
over-tired after their school days, and demonstrating all the bad behaviour
mums seem to have to deal with after they’ve been separated from their children
for any period. What I needed was something to soothe them, comfort them and
show them that I was thrilled to have them back again. In other words, a hug.
So what I do now is this. I turn off the engine and say, “Shall
we have car hugs?” Then I open the front door and give each of my children a
hug as they get out of the car. The hugs are quite long, and I take the
opportunity to tell them how happy and proud they make me. The others wait
beautifully because they know they’re going to get theirs too. Then they go
into the house – quietly, because they’re calm and reassured.
This is one area where love has been more effective than all
the shouting and timeouts in the world. The car gets safely locked too!
